The Prince's Diaries
by Moczo
Summary: Sequel to "Diary of a Wimpy Kid." Pelleas' take on events post-game, from planning a royal wedding, to repairing a relationship between an overbearing mother and her emotionally distant son, to discovering that on Tellius the word "senator" is a synonym for "evil." Contains Pelleas/Micaiah and Ike/Soren.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I would say I'm sorry for this, but I'm not. May you enjoy another trip in Pelleas!vision!

* * *

Dear Diary:

Surprise, it's me again! I missed you, since I don't have a lot of people to talk about how _amazing my life is right now._ Seriously, it's amazing.

For example, it turns out that the Kings of Daein leave the throne with an impressive collection of titles. Everyone knows of "Ashnard the Mad," my sort-of father, but no one knows that that's just the tip of the iceberg where he was concerned. It actually is:

 _Ashnard Stanley Daein, Twelfth King of Daein, First of His Name, The Mad King, Worldslayer, Releaser of Chaos, Wielder of the Fire Emblem, Dragonrider, Master of Gurgurant, the Corruptor, Conqueror of Crimea, Champion of Merit, Servant of the Dark Goddess, Lord of the Four Riders._

Aaaaand I just realized that "dragon-rider" is a double entendre. Ewwwwwww. Ugh. Gross. Picturing them having sex. No, noooo, make it staaaaaahp…

Okay, redirection needed. But on the plus side, _Worldslayer?_ Wow. That is just cool, and it has a better ring to it than "genocidal maniac." Also, Micaiah has assured me that Yune would be ticked off if she were still around because she is not a dark god and he was not her servant.

Here's me:

 _Pelleas Rajaion Daein, Thirteenth King of Daein, First of His Name, the Pauper Prince, the Orphan King, Blood Oath Maker, the Signer of Pacts, Slayer of the Goddess, the False, Would-Be Martyr, the Dark Wizard King._

Not bad for a reign that lasted two and a half months, although there are a lot of negatives in there but I suppose that's to be expected. "Signer of Pacts" sounds cool, although we both know it wasn't (well, the first time was, because without the first time I wouldn't be"the Dark Wizard King," but the second time, not so much). So yes, I got some cool titles. I wonder what Micaiah's will be. And actually, I wonder if I'll get some new ones after we get married.

After we get married.

 _After we GET MARRIED!_

Yes she asked me to marry her, and yes I said yes! We've been dating for a year already, which may not be a long time in the broad scheme of things but seems a lot longer when you spent so much time beforehand with that person fighting for your lives.

I abdicated my throne, since it turns out that I'm not actually royal-blooded, and was elected as a Senator of Daein, which is kind of cool. I love my coworkers, they're a bunch of stand-up guys. I'll have to write about them more sometime.

Okay, so Micaiah and my job are the reasons why my life is awesome, but do I need more than that? Oh, and Mother is still here, and I'm not sure she remembers that she's not actually my mother. She has, in fact, declared that Soren – her biological son, whom she has met exactly once and has no idea who she is – and I are "twinsies" which is all sorts of weird considering that we look about as alike as, well, Ashnard and Almedha. But hey, whatever makes her happy. She needs reasons to be happy, considering she wants me to get married and have "lots of grandbabies for me" but she hates Micaiah. Your guess is as good as mine as to how that works. But I'm not going to complain. I heard about the backstory: she gave birth to Soren and lost her dragon laguz powers, Ashnard held the baby hostage to corrupt Rajaion with the feral drug, and then Ashnard sold Soren to some random lady. So needless to say, my mother is a little bit touched in the head, especially when it comes to her children. And, presumably, grandchildren.

Speaking of, okay, I gotta get going. I'm meeting with the florist today, which in itself is a miracle considering, well, we have florists? In Daein, a country of nearly perpetual winter? Okay, cool. Lots of snow crocuses, I suppose. Not that I'm an expert at flowers. Oh well.

Bye, Diary!


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Diary:

Oh yes, I never did tell you about my wonderful coworkers. Allow me to introduce them:

Vice Minister Naikel is in charge after me, and he fits the whole "large and in charge" idea. He's not only a big guy (lay off the cream puffs, Naikel!) but he's also got ridiculously fancy facial hair. His voice booms and he likes to act self-important. He's probably my least favorite, but he could be worse.

Lezteh is the oldest and the nicest. He wheezes when he talks and seems to really worry about doing his best.

Aroiles is just a guy. Like, if I ever forget a senator, it's him.

Loriev is weird. He's super fat but super jovial, and he adores Micaiah (back off, she's mine!), and he's a surprisingly big patron of the arts.

Damiun is okay, but it's pretty clear he wants to make Naikel like him. Good luck with that, since Naikel only likes himself. Also he is really bad at growing facial hair. Me too, so no judging.

Mevalot is just crazy. He has a very high pitched laugh and he shows disdain for absolutely everyone. He's actually more likeable than Naikel, if only because he laughs so often and it's kind of nice that someone is having fun.

Then our secretary is Zukai, and he really needs to see a chiropractor, but his penmanship is out of this world.

Then there's me, Prime Minister Pelleas. They were all kind of upset that I was promoted ahead of them so fast, but that's their problems. The people of Daein actually like me! They liked me even more when Micaiah and I got engaged. I don't think they know about the blood pact, which has a number of unfortunate implications about how much they enjoyed the war against the laguz. But we've done a decent job at undoing some of the anti-laguz propaganda that went on during my fa – Ashnard's reign. A lot of it was Rafiel, the heron prince, going around with Nailah and healing everyone with the power of his birdsong, with Nailah pointedly not eating all of them. This made everyone love the herons, and considering that all the herons are in relationships with other laguz, it spread.

Awkwardly enough, Daein's favorite after Rafiel is actually Naesala, which has, from what I heard, been a little hard to swallow for the bird tribes. Not that Naesala has to worry, because he's now married to Leanne and she will single-handledly murder anyone who goes against him. She's one of those people where you're not really sure how she will do it, but you just know she will. The fact that she's pregnant just makes it more obvious.

Oh, speaking of relationships, Queen Elincia got married a few months ago to Geoffrey, who is now Prince Consort of Crimea. She hasn't had any sort of rebellion or anything ever since that nonsense with, um, that guy. You know the one. I forgot his name, which is okay because he's dead now.

Sothe is still in Begnion, last I heard still dating Sanaki although they don't advertise the relationship that much. The fact that she never heard the voice of Ashera actually endeared her to her people _more_ , considering that Ashera turned everyone to stone. (You know, in retrospect, I wonder what she actually said to the prior Empresses. "Excuse me Ashera, what should I do about this famine?" "SMITE THEM ALL IN MY NAME!" Awkward.) Anyway, she abolished her senate due to the deaths of almost all of the senators, and no one has heard from Sephiran since the end of the war. I hope the poor guy is doing okay.

Who else... Most of Micaiah's friends are still around. You know, the activists. Norton, Tedward, Donatello, Lauren, Aaron, uh, Lanvega's daughter. The armored knight girl when back to her family, Zihark is um somewhere, so is Jill, uh… Wow, I'm not good at this. At least I remember they were called the Dawn Brigade!

Skrimir is now king of Gallia. I expected a declaration of war from him on someone, anyone, but none came. I think we all have Ranulf to thank. No idea what Caingehis is up to, but if he's smart he will stay far away from us because Mother made no secret of her crush on him. Although on second thought, it would do her well to get a boyfriend who is not Ashnard… Ugh, am I picturing matchmaking for my mother?

Let's see… oh, Goldoa's borders are opened up for the first time since the war against Yune some thousand years ago. But it turns out most people don't want to go there because they don't want to get eaten by dragons, go figure, but the dragons are slowly leaving to see the world for the first time. Mother and I visited once. Ena had a baby, which was surprising for a number of reasons. She claimed it was my uncle Rajaion's, and no one can really argue with her because no one knows the gestation rate for dragons. If I had to guess, I'd say it was probably Kurthnaga's. Which makes the baby my cousin regardless, which is kind of a weird thought. Adopted cousin.

Oh, speaking of family, Soren is still with the Greil Mercenaries, who are back to taking low-paying jobs in northwestern Crimea.

This is bringing me to my next point. I'm not entirely sure what to do about this. Me, Uncle Kurthnaga, and my mother know that Soren is in fact the blood heir of both Daein and Goldoa. I tried to tell Soren, but I don't think he was listening. So, do I go to find the Greil Mercenaries and try to convince Soren to come to Daein to visit his mother? Or do I let them go, and accept my fate as Almedha's lightning rod of love? Now that I'm writing it out, if I can't get Soren here, I can try to drag Cainhegis here. If _that_ fails, then maybe I can convince Tibarn and Reyson to break up, because Mother had a crush on him too. Sephiran's old and powerful, I bet she'd be into that too. If all four of those plans fail, I'm just screwed. Not, er, literally.

Okay diary, my hand is getting tired and I have a senator meeting in the morning. It's Loriev's turn to bring snacks, and his are the best.

-Pelleas


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Diary:

Micaiah and I worked on wedding invitations this afternoon. This wedding is going to be huge! We decided to invite literally everyone from the war. I didn't want to invite Sothe but got overruled, and Micaiah was not too keen on inviting Ike and the Greil Mercenaries – she still holds a grudge, which is adorable, really. Ashnard was my evil fake dad and I don't care that Ike killed him. But if there is one thing I have learned about Micaiah, it is that Daein is number one in her life. If nations had personifications, I would be single.

I still like writing that. I'm not single. I'm engaged. I'm going to get married to _Micaiah_. Like most things in my life, it was a pretty understated proposal. In a sense I kind of proposed to her – I was thinking really loudly about how much I love her and want to marry her, and she, well, read my mind, smiled at me, and said "Yes."

Huh. I am marrying a woman who can literally read my mind. I feel like there should be a joke about that scenario, but I can't think of one.

Anyhow, I have decided that I am going to introduce Mother and Soren. I really can't stand any more - er, I mean, I really want them to be happy and to be a family. This is purely selfless. I am a good person. They'll both be at the wedding, so it'll be easy. They can bond over how much they hate Micaiah. Just like a real family!

\- Pelleas


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Diary:

Micaiah has decided she is now vegan. Proof she's really from Begnion, since no real Daeinite would ever give up our beef stews! Not because we like them, but because we'd all freeze to death without them. But veggie stew is okay too. It's… okay… really… I'm okay with it…

Anyway, time to find a vegan cake maker. Wish me luck.

Wait a minute, why don't I hire someone to do this all for me? There's gotta be wedding planners!

-Pelleas


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Diary:

So it turns out Volke really will do anything for money.

\- Pelleas


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Diary:

Ugh, so today's senate meeting was long. Micaiah wanted to pass a reform that makes discrimination against anyone illegal – so laguz, beorc and Branded would be protected. Because Naikel doesn't like any idea he doesn't suggest, he of course said it was unnecessary and voted no. Damiun voted no because Naikel did. Mevalot also voted no because he's not very nice. Loriev voted yes, as did I. And to the shock of everyone, Aroiles also voted yes, which means he actually did something worth noticing. Even weirder, Lezteh also voted yes, although he was wibbling as he did it.

I bring this up because after Micaiah left with her successful legislation, Naikel went on a rant for about 30 minutes about how we were the last bastion of greatness, how the Great God relies on us to enact His Will, how we are chosen, etc. This was all news to me, but in his defense, I think Naikel forgot I was there, because he's kind of a jerk in that way. He then said it was our sworn and solemn duty to oppose absolutely everything that Micaiah suggests. This prompted an argument between Loriev and Naikel about the definitely of "absolutely everything," and I will admit at this point I zoned out. You know, they're a bunch of nice people most of the time, but sometimes I wonder who voted for them.

Wait a second, no one voted for them. No one voted for _me_. I don't think. Or did they? Hooray for a monarchic democracy! Maybe? I need to look up what kind of government we have.

\- Pelleas


	7. Chapter 7

Dear Diary,

Did you know that if you put an e at the end of my name, it makes it Pellease? Like, "puh-leeeeaze?" How funny is that?

\- Pellease :3


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Diary:

So Volke has the wedding reserved for the grand cathedral here in Nevassa in three months. The color themes are going to be white and dark red, which actually look better than you'd think. He also reserved our honeymoon for _Gallia_ , which is... uh… slightly more daring than I want? Relations between Gallia and Daein have never been cozy. Plus I'm allergic to cats.

But Micaiah said anywhere but Crimea, which does include Gallia. Volke says they have the best barbeque in Tellius. I guess that makes sense, all things considered. Just, uh, remind me to ask Volke to pack all the vitamin C I can carry.

\- Pelleas


	9. Chapter 9

Dear Diary:

SO GUESS WHAT. WE GOT BACK THE FIRST OF THE RSVPs… AND SOREN ISN'T COMING.

At first I thought, okay, that's fine, I will live. But then this morning my mother gave me _THE TALK_. You know, the _SEX TALK, ABOUT SEX. MY MOTHER GAVE ME THE TALK ABOUT SEX TODAY, DIARY. AND IT GETS WORSE, DIARY. IT GETS FAR WORSE._

 _BECAUSE IT WASN'T HYPOTHETICAL, DIARY, OH NO. IT WAS NOT "PENIS GOES INTO VAGINA," DIARY._

 _ **SHE TOLD ME ALL ABOUT HER SEX WITH ASHNARD.**_

 _ **DIARY, DIARY, SHE TOLD ME ALL ABOUT HER SEX WITH ASHNARD.**_

 _ **SHE IGNORED MY TEARS AND NOW I KNOW TOO MUCH.**_

 _ **SOREN MUST ACCEPT HIS BIRTHRIGHT.**_

 _ **BLOOD IS NOT A LUBRICANT AND I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT!**_

 _ **MY SOUL MAY NEVER RECOVER.**_

 _ **KILL ME**_

\- No love, Pelleas


	10. Chapter 10

Dear Diary,

I definitely did not flee the country. Just because I am now sitting on the Great Bridge waiting for Crimean Customs to get their act together does not mean I ran away from my problems.

I was trying to be subtle about this, but – and this, Diary, is a genuine shocker – the random guard, this guy with a no indoor voice and an overwhelming fondness for red, who reviews people traveling between Daein and Crimea, _he_ recognized me. No former King of Daein/current Senator is going to be allowed into their country without all the proper protocol, and for certain no son of Ashnard can avoid a visit to Melior. After all, they have to show off the Crimean spirit and give a good old-fashioned "fuck you" to my fake dad, even if it's disguised as an exchange of diplomatic pleasantries.

Yes I am clearly aware of the irony that no one important knows who I am, but some shmuck on the night shift definitely did. If the Goddess were still alive, I would have a decent argument that she hates me. Although to be fair, she clearly did when she was alive, too.

Ugh, sorry if I'm a bit bitter, Diary. I was just hoping to take a nice solitary trip into the wilderness to hire the Greil Mercenaries to come to Nevassa. And this guy won't stop yelling at me even as he prepares to escort me to the capital. He's not even all that mean about it, he just _won't stop yelling._ I have a feeling he was put all the way out because he probably sounds like he's speaking at a normal volume back in Melior.

Okay, he's ready to go. Wish me luck that I don't have a migraine by the time I'm done here.

-Pelleas


	11. Chapter 11

Dear Diary,

Well my migraine is finally gone, after some resting in my own nice suite here in the capital. The Senators of Crimea were not happy to see me, especially unannounced, but Queen Elincia has mastered the art of the death glare and they all quickly shut up. You go, girl. Keep them in line.

Huh, you know, I just realized that all the beorc nations have women rulers, and all the laguz nations have men. Well, except Hatari, but do they really count? Not that I had a point to make with that, it was just a random observation.

So anyway, I need to figure out how to get out of here soon. I'm on a mission! Elincia rolled my eyes when I explained it to her, but was a little bit better when I specified I'm not going to see _Ike_. I think she's sick of everyone wanting to talk to him. It's like when I was king, everyone wanted to talk to Micaiah, except that was a relief to me. Yet another reason I'm not exactly unhappy I'm not the king anymore. Except, you know, I will be.

Oh, and I forgot to mention it actually was to my benefit that Micaiah can read my mind. She found me after my mother's impromptu sex talk, and told me to get the hell out of Daein while I still could. Thank the dead goddess for my fiancé!

Okay, sleep time. Good night, Diary.

-Pelleas


	12. Chapter 12

Dear Diary:

Melior is lovely in the spring. Did you know that the plants on the ground are called "grass" and they're supposed to be _green_ , not brown? It was a struggle to learn how to walk through the world without snow being up to my knees. That being said I think this place would benefit from some more dead bodies and crushed flowers. I can't believe they didn't like Ashnard's aesthetic choices.

All right, I jest. It is very nice, though. I can't blame them for wanting me to see all of this. My escort around the castle has been Lucia, Elincia's sister, and she's very polite and pleasant. I remember her from the Goddess War, and she was nice then too. Most importantly, she is soft-spoken, and after my experience with the red knight (named Kieran, I found out), I appreciate that. My ears are still ringing.

Her brother keeps glaring at me, which is silly, because – as Lucia explained - some of the senators suggested an arranged political marriage between me and Elincia back before I abdicated. It's probably for the best that I got up the courage to ask Micaiah to be my girlfriend before that, because I'm not going to lie, if I had been a single King you better believe I would have accepted that arranged marriage. Elincia is beautiful and sweet, and it turns out I have a soft spot in my heart for regal women who are devoted to their country but could also kill me. Wow, that is a very specific type. Anyway it's all a moot point as Elincia married Geoffrey, and I am engaged to Micaiah, and obviously nothing ever came of the idea of an arranged marriage.

They pointed me in the right direction, and after I am done writing this entry I will be packing up my things and moving on to the Greil Mercenaries' fort. Wish me luck!

-Pelleas


	13. Chapter 13

(A/N: If you're thinking their slogan seems familiar, don't you worry, I plagiarized myself. I also hope you're all continuing to enjoy this. Poor baby Pelleas.)

* * *

Dear Diary:

"Welcome to the Greil Mercenaries. Who do we need to punch for you?"

 _That is their slogan, I can't even._

Isn't that delightful? I love it. Even though Ike forgot who I was. I tried to pretend I forgot who he is, but it didn't work. I have a very good memory. Let's see, Ike, Soren… uh, Crimson War Goddess… Misty, Boy, Oscar the Grouch, Rolfe, and the Drunkard Duo. Oh and Mia! We got drunk once, it was delightful.

Anyway, I officially hired all of them to come to my wedding. The DD were pretty mad that they RSVP'd no to begin with, and were insistent that the team go now that they were being paid to go. Everyone else agreed, as money makes the world work. Between them and Volke, Micaiah is going to have to put me on an allowance due to my flagrant spending. I can make that work though, so the joke's on her. I'm awesome at finances.

Ike looked pretty angry, which fits what I've been told about him – he's not a fan of the fancier things in life. Soooo I should probably tell him what's going on. Okay, let's go…

Found him, he was doing exercises. Phew, I kinda get the existence of the We Love Ike Club that existed during the war. Anyhow. Okay, he's noticed me, transcription time!

Me: Hi Mr. Ike, I wanted to talk to you a bit more about what I'm doing here.

Ike: Why were you staring at me?

Me: Nothing. I hired you all to come to the wedding because it turns out that Soren is my mother's actual son, and I want them to meet.

Ike: _I knew it!_

He's explaining to me now how he figured it out, and if I were Soren I'd be pretty offended (it comes down to "Soren can be kind of a ruthless pragmatic jerk just like Ashnard and that dragon king with the sneeze name") so it does add credence to my mother's claim of maternity, kind of. Anyway, now he's excited, although I'm not sure if it's because he's right, or because he's getting Soren a mother.

Doesn't matter, my plan has succeeded! A future with less maternal crushing, coming right up! I can't wait to go home!

Love, Pelleas the Successful


	14. Chapter 14

Dear Diary:

So I am finally home, and three very confusing things have happened that I need to inform you about:

1\. The castle is almost fully prepared for the wedding, which is scheduled for two weeks from today. However, I found receipts for our honeymoon to _the Serenes_ with a knife through it, and the bride statuette that goes on the cake has no head;

2\. While I was gone, my mother somehow procured a book entitled _Fantastic Beast Kings and Where to Feel Them_ , ruining my faith in life for a number of reasons; and

3\. The large senatorial council table is now sporting a massive inverted pentagram etched into the wood, surrounded by symbols in the ancient language detailing sacrifice.

I have no idea how to interpret any of that, so I am going to bed. Good night!

Love, Pelleas


	15. Chapter 15

Dear Diary:

So it turns out that Micaiah and Volke went to war after I left. Micaiah is vegan so she didn't want to go to Gallia. Volke specifically picked Gallia for the barbecue because he doesn't like Micaiah or vegans or vegan Micaiah. They won't tell me the details, but that is how the honeymoon got changed to the Serenes, and why the bride statuette has no head. I reattached the head with glue.

I talked to Micaiah about how Volke is the wedding designer and she needs to be tactful when stating her needs because he is also an assassin and I get the feeling he doesn't charge all that much money for murdering people he doesn't like. Then I explained to Volke that if this wedding doesn't happen I will literally never have a chance with any other girl ever so it is very important that this happens so I don't die alone. He said I remind him of a kicked puppy. I'm not sure how to feel about that except now I want a dog.

Oh, speaking of dogs, the trio from the east are back: Volug, Nailah, and Rafiel. My mother began hitting on Nailah. I guess she's expanding the definition of fantastic beast kings to include queens. Argh, my brain. Thankfully Nailah's tastes seem to stem towards beautiful fragile man-birds.

Seriously. _Fantastic Beast Kings and Where to Feel Them?_ Who wrote that? How did my mother get a copy of it? Why do I want to pull my hair out every time I picture her reading it? Paying Soren to come meet her was the best idea I've ever had. Not telling him his parentage back during the war was the worst.

Okay technically signing the blood pact was the worst. This is the second worst. A very very close second worst.

It's definitely the worst.

Twelve days.

\- Pelleas


	16. Chapter 16

Dear Diary:

Current: Micaiah Altina Begnion-Daein. Possible: Micaiah Altina Begnion-Daein (same). Micaiah Altina Daein (mine?) Micaiah Altina Begnion-Daein-Daein (both?).

Current: Pelleas Rajaion Daein. Possible: Pelleas Rajaion Daein (same). Pelleas Rajaion Begnion-Daein (hers?)? Pelleas Rajaion Daein-Begnion-Daein (both?)?

Mr. and Mrs. Pelleas and Micaiah Daein-Begnion-Daein. Technically King and Queen Pelleas and Micaiah Daein-Begnion-Daein.

I can't lie to you, Diary, I kind of like Pelleas Rajaion Daein-Begnion-Daein . It makes me smile. But then I would have to sign it on everything and wow, that would take a long time. Maybe I could make a stamp or something.

(Micaiah says she will stay as Begnion-Daein and I will stay as Daein, because she is from both and I am Daein. She can be no fun.)

Love, Ex-King Future King Pelleas Rajaion Daein-Begnion-Daein, Thirteenth and Fifteenth* King of Daein, First of His Name Twice, the Pauper Prince, the Orphan King, Blood Oath Maker, the Signer of Pacts, Slayer of the Goddess, the False, Would-Be Martyr, the Dark Wizard King.

* Micaiah is technically the fourteenth King of Daein as well as the first Queen of Daein. It doesn't have to make sense.


	17. Chapter 17

Dear Diary:

I seem to have been kidnapped. I'm not really sure how or why, but I am all alone here in this dark dungeon. I forgot we had dungeons! Hopefully whoever it is comes to -

Oh, it's Novin. The activist leader. Plus Micaiah's other friends - Theodore, Raphael, Lori, Eren, uh, Lanvega's daughter. Thankfully not her horse, that would be awkward considering we are in a dungeon. Let me transcribe what they're saying…

Teddy: Hey you! Yeah you're marrying Micaiah! Well guess what? We love her too!

Erin: Not in the same way.

Lanvega's Daughter: Speak for yourself.

Michelangelo: Please be kind to her. She deserves the best after everything she's been through.

Laren: If you hurt her we will be forced to hurt you harder.

Norbert: As in I will literally cleave your head in half.

Aw, they're so cute! That's cute, isn't it? So cute. They're going to let me out, right? Okay yes they are. Good. Stinkin' adorable. I want to keep them all as pets.

(Hahahahaha they threatened me! That is hilarious! I could seriously take all of them by myself. That is so funny. Come at me, you dorks! :D)

\- Pelleas


	18. Chapter 18

Dear Diary:

Sorry I haven't written lately, it's been an exciting and busy time preparing for the wedding while also participating on the Senate. It's tomorrow, can you believe it? The wedding, not the Senate. I have an emergency senate meeting today, but tomorrow I am getting married.

To _Micaiah_. I should get a tattoo of her name on my spine. Ahhh, I love her so.

The guests are arriving, mostly today. Princess Leanne of the Serenes looks like she's ready to go into labor, and King Naesala of Kilvas (mostly honorary titles now that the bird tribes are all one big tribe, but hey, I give credit where it is due) has his feathers in a ruffle. Her brothers and their respective paramours (I was so right about Tibarn and Reyson!) are also here, as are their entourages. Queen Elincia of Crimea arrived yesterday with her entourage and husband. She reported the Greil Mercenaries are on their way. Word has Empress Sanaki (my future sister in law!) coming tomorrow morning with her team. It'll be the first time I've seen Sothe in awhile. I still don't know if they're actually fond of each other or just using each other for validation/money. Oh well, don't care, don't like Sothe.

From the hullabaloo that I hear, half of it is continuing wedding prep, and half of it is the arrival of Gallia – King Skrimir for sure, given the yelling, and his people, but we also invited his uncle the former king. Gosh, this is all very exciting.

Time to do the worst part of my day – Senate meeting. What could be the big emergency?

-Pelleas


	19. Chapter 19

Dear Diary:

I seem to have been kidnapped again. More specifically, I have been locked in the Senate chamber. At the moment it's just me and you, Diary, and a whole bunch of books on the shelf, so let me update you what's going on.

I arrived and was greeted by the other senators. Naikel spoke for the others, presenting me with a very large contract to sign about the secrecy of the meeting.

 _Only they wanted me to sign it in blood!_

Fool me once, shame on me! Fool me twice, shame on – uh, me! I refused to sign it! They were shocked by this, by my refusal to sign something in blood.

 _ **AND THEN IT TURNS OUT THEY'RE ACTUALLY THE SENATORS OF BEGNION!**_

"How did you survive?" I asked.

"The same way Oliver did!" said Naikel. Also known as _Lekain_! "Sign the contract!"

"No!" I said.

"We must summon the Great Demon Astaroth!" yelled Damiun, and _was actually Numida!_ The mustache should have given it away!

"Is that what the evil summoning symbols on the table are for?" I demanded. "Summoning something evil?"

Mevalot, _secretly Valtome_ , laughed. "Of course, you fool! Astaroth will take the place of the dead Ashera, and we will be given power beyond our wildest dreams!"

"I'm not signing anything!" said me, glaring at all of them.

"Then you will die of starvation here and we will use your corpse as a sacrifice!" sneered Lekain. Then they all left me here. I'm locked in, as I said. Even the secretary left me! The secretary who was Zukai but who was secretly _IZUKA!_

I didn't see this coming at all!

Pelleas


	20. Chapter 20

Dear Diary:

Wow, there are a lot of books here I haven't read before. Since I have nothing better to do, being kidnapped as I am, let's start going through them!

 _* Fantastic Beast Kings and Where to Feel Them_ because of course. I did not read this one. I did flip through it and someone's handwriting wrote "Needs more women." Well yes, mysterious writer.

 _* Genealogy of the Holy War_ , which I have fondly retitled "Way to Ruin it, Sigurd." I mean wow, I look great in comparison because at least I didn't get all my friends killed. Wow. Mysterious writer wrote "Feel-good story of the year!"

 _* Blazing Blade,_ which is the tale of a lot of people doing a lot of things, but I can't handle the "Desmond hates his son Zephiel and tries to kill him" plot. Mysterious writer says, "Great comedy, but it was a little unrealistic. Who would care if they had a child unless they can blow stuff up?"

 _* How to Tame Your Dragon_ , which is apparently about - porn. This book is porn. Mysterious writer says it's hot. Next!

HOLY CRAP MOST OF THESE BOOKS ARE ASHNARD'S AND HALF ARE HORRIBLE TALES OF DEATH AND THE OTHER HALF ARE PORN

WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME

I QUIT


	21. Chapter 21

Dear Diary:

I don't know how long I've been down here. The Senators are back and are staring at me to get me to sign the blood pact. Has it been days? Weeks? Did I miss my wedding? Am I fated to die down here, with these creepy old men and my father's dragon porn?

Speaking of, I thought about WWAD – What Would Ashnard Do – except he would kill all of them with his bare hands, and I can't do that. My arms are not that strong. Mental note to self, start carrying a tome with me in addition to my diary.

Huh, I just heard a voice from the hallway. "But _Shinon_ , what if I _hit_ him?"


	22. Chapter 22

Dear Diary:

It turns out I was trapped in the senate room for about an hour. The Senators went up to demand Micaiah sign the blood pact in exchange for my freedom. She refused, then hired the recently-arrived Greil Mercenaries to kill the senators… again. So now I am safe, and presumably there won't be a demon summoning during my wedding. Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to bed so I can forget

 _What's new, Big P?_

What the – Sothe?

 _Yup. Nice to know you've grown up some. The old Pelleas would've signed that blood pact with relish and then probably tried to stab himself._

You know, this is why we're not friends.

 _Lies! We're best friends. Brothers-in-law, after all, starting tomorrow._

You do have a point. But first I have to get through tomorrow, which requires that I go to bed first.

 _I'm going to guess that you didn't get a bachelor party._

No, I didn't.

 _Hope you're not too tired!_

I don't want one! I don't like being a bachelor! I don't


	23. Chapter 23

Dear diary

I am drunk but I am merried yay me today was great let me tell you bout it diary

Well last night me and my bestie sothe and the dawn brigaid and lotsa people went to party and I met a stripper! Yes theyre real how crazy is that O_O she was very pretty but not as pretty as miciuh who is the prettiest ever I love her. **i did not tuch the stripper but the guy with the pink fro did not me ok** tibran and skrmr got arm restlin contests goin and I dunno who won but prtty sure it wasn't me or the striper. Naysala was there too but so was his wifey and that was funny. Ike was there too but so was HIS wifey who is my brother

We got merried 2day when I came and said hi guyz my name is Pellease plz let me mary mikiah i love her and they said okay thats cool and she gave sothe dirty looks ha ha ha but hse said I do yay me and she wore wite and I wore red and it was pretty too volk did a good job. I gotta crown and im king again which is super neat I guess okay no that part isnt :(

So now im sittin at a table with yooooou diary and im watchin people. No1 knows I'm here, theres a buffay and peoplre eetin. This guy with rlike red pink hair is dirnkin by me but he's way drunk and I am not durnk

O hey look my mama is talkin to my bro! I can heer 'em

Bro: I don't get it personally, why is gray hair so special when hair is literally every color of the rainbow?

Mama: _YES THANK YOU_. And who cares about the herons, really? Why is that so special?

Bro: If I had to choose a laguz, I'd pick dragons.

OMG THEY'RE BONDING OVER HATING MICAYAH JUST LIKE A REAL FAMILY DID I CALL IT OR WHAT

OH SHIT I SAID THAT OUT LOUD

IT GOT REAL QUIET

THE GUY NEXT TO ME JUST SHOUTED 'HEY IKEY YOU CAN NAME YOUR SON **GREILNARD!'** then he threw up on himself

Huh

Greilnard is a terrible name

I need to throw up 2 bye

-p


	24. Chapter 24

Dear dairy

Im still drunk but now i am kidnaoed agen cuz I need to talk to my bro. In this room is me, mama, bro, ike, and mikaya. Shes so bootfiul I love her. Mama is sitting quite regal but like she's at a funeral, Bro is hiding behind Ike like a nervous wet puppy. Ike and miccy are lokin at me. And me, I'm here too.

I should probably say something supportive. Thankfully The alcohol is wearin off.

Here's what I'm sayin: So um yes, you were paid to come here to meet your mother. And brother because you're also meeting me. True story, you're a double prince! Clearly you're more like Mama, so count yourself lucky because the other person was Ashnard! Hey everyone in this room has a funky symbol except ike haha! Oh wait a second mine is cuz Im a spirit charmer! Im gonna die like way before any of you!

Ok diary im puttin you away cuz I cant stop crying bye


	25. Chapter 25

Dear Diary:

I woke up this morning being spooned by Micaiah, with her singing quietly in my ear. It was the best way to wake up, although once I remembered yesterday I still felt pretty bad. No hangover, thankfully. I asked about Mother, but she shushed me and instead told me something else.

According to her, the powers of the Apostle of Begnion are transferred down to the first daughter born, and once the girl hits puberty they become active. After that happens, the mother no longer is considered the Apostle, and loses all that comes with it: the long life, the powers, etc. She essentially becomes a normal beorc. Her point was that if Micaiah and I have a baby girl, Micaiah will no longer live longer than anyone else. She confessed she's relieved by the idea, and I can't say I blame her.

She also wants to help me figure out a way to break my spirit pact, although I don't think that's possible. But it's probably worth looking in to. It's so weird to admit that, for all I willingly went into the pact less than a decade ago, now I hate the idea that I won't live a full life. And while the magic certainly helped, it isn't needed anymore.

I love my life.

\- Pelleas

PS:

 _Micaiah Altina Begnion-Daein, Fourteenth King of Daein, First Queen of Daein, First of Her Name, the Silver-Haired Maiden, Rightful Apostle, the Maiden of Dawn, the Priestess of Dawn, Heir of Lehran, Vessel of Yune, the Bird Whisperer, Singer of the Goddess._

Have to say, I'm not impressed. Mine are way better. But that's okay, because she's better than me in every other way. It's nice to win something.


	26. Chapter 26

Dear Diary:

So today I decided to clean the blood stains out of the senate table, and I found Soren in the corner surrounded by books. He was so small and looked like a kicked puppy, so I felt awful and had to cheer him up.

 _Me:_ That's how I reacted when I found Ashnard's porn too.

 _Him:_ Please kill me.

 _Me:_ It's not that bad. No one blames you for Ashnard's crazy… or Almedha's crazy, for that matter. I mean, they gave me the kingship, on purpose!

He snorted in amusement, so I win.

 _Me:_ And yes, Mother is crazy, but in a good way most of the time. You know she would do anything for you, literally, just because you're her family. And at least you found out from me! I found out from _Izuka!_

 _Him:_ Wow. I legitimately pity you. That's odd.

 _Me:_ Plus you do get to leave if it gets to be too much. I'm king now, so I don't. Not that I want to leave, most of the time.

 _Him:_ I am leaving. Ike has plans… And just because she gave birth to me does not mean I owe her loyalty…

 _Me:_ Well speaking from one former orphan to another, if I were you I would at least start talking with her over letters. If nothing else at least you'll get to learn about your ancestry, which might help out sometime. You're half dragon, that's pretty neat.

 _Him:_ … Yeah, I guess.

 _Me:_ Besides, you've already bonded over hating your in-laws!

 _Him:_ Technically speaking Micaiah isn't an in-law. You're not related to me.

Then _I_ needed cheering up instead because I forget that sometimes. But since he's been confused for a Spirit Charmer before and I've been confused for a Branded before, we got to share stories of being beat up, bullied, manipulated, or otherwise pestered. So whether he likes it or not I'm pretending he's my brother. Almedha is still my mother, because she has legitimately forgotten she isn't, and because I don't have another one. The woman wanted to destroy the kingdom of Daein to keep me alive! I have to reward that _somehow_.

Plus she will get to spend energy worrying about Soren. So I'm still winning. Yay me!

-Pelleas


	27. Chapter 27

A/N: And thus our journey with Pelleas reaches another end. Thank you all for following along! There is a decent chance of a third story, but then I'd be going into more non-canon territory regarding spirit charming and the breaking of pacts, so I dunno. We'll see. But I love this story and Pelleas, and I love you for reading!

* * *

Dear Diary:

All right. I'm sorry but I need to convey this horror and then set you on fire. There is no other option for me.

Micaiah and I are leaving for our honeymoon. I went to find Mother, and she was

Was

Was

Was

Um

 _In bed_

 _With Cainhegis_

 _And Giffca._

 _Naked._

Blaarrrgghh.

I can't unsee this, Diary, I can't. I'm trying. I'm sorry. May my memory of this horrible sight leave me as the fire cleanses you of this evil.

Goodbye and farewell again, Diary!

Love

Pelleas the Scarred


End file.
